While my son and I are drowning in debt, my mother is traveling the world; shouldn’t she be helping us? Her remark surprised me 
Mom is retired. She was always sensible, thrifty, and saved every last dime during her many years as an accountant. She opted for a frugal lifestyle and saved money “for old age,” while others spent it on dining out, fashionable clothing, or house remodeling.
However, “old age” suddenly doesn’t look like what I had anticipated. Mom is traveling, enjoying foreign cuisine, cruising the Mediterranean on yachts, and tanning on beaches. She is also sending me pictures of herself smiling broadly, having a cocktail, and sporting chic sunglasses.
Additionally, I am drowning in debt as her only daughter. I’m raising the child alone after my spouse left, and I’m barely making ends meet while also paying my bills and loans.
You know what else I don’t get? My mother saved a significant sum of money during her lifetime; why doesn’t she assist me? Why does she believe that I should accomplish everything by myself? Regardless of the child’s age, isn’t it the responsibility of the parent to assist them?
Lately, I was unable to handle it any longer. When I contacted her, I could hear laughter and waves in the background. She was on an island in Greece. I inquired:
You understand how difficult it is for me, Mom. Why do you not wish to assist?
After a brief period of silence, she uttered something that made me stand motionless for hours on end, wondering how a mother could say such a thing… 
— I cherish you. Who will save me, though, if I spend my final years protecting others? You are an adult. Finally, I’m living for myself. Work it out for yourself.
I was stunned as I stood there. I was at a loss for words. Was it wisdom or selfishness?
I felt deceived, on the one hand. Her daughter is me. I was there for her whenever she needed me. While she was in the hospital, I assisted her.
I put her needs ahead of my own. She now prefers beaches and sunrises on far-off shores when I’m having trouble.
However, she truly lived her entire life for other people. For the family, for her work, and for me. She continued to put herself off repeatedly. Perhaps she has now made the decision to live?
What are your thoughts? Was my mother correct? Or does being a parent not stop when you retire?
