When Doing Family Favors Costs Money
Anna, my half-sister, asked me to take free pictures at her wedding. I consented, hoping it would help us fortify our connection, which has never been very warm.
I showed up early, worked continuously without taking a break, and didn’t even anticipate being thanked. However, I recognized that this was the last straw when she informed me that I had no seat reserved at the table because I was “working, not a guest.”
And this is the lesson I imparted to my insensitive and unappreciative sister.
My father departed when I was three years old. I vaguely remember a bag near the door and my mother crying. He informed me over the phone a year later that he and his new wife, Lorraine, were expecting my half-sister, Ava.
As a child, Ava was less of a sibling and more of an idea. We never celebrated birthdays or holidays together. During my father’s infrequent trips, our conversations were restricted to casual references.
He would say things like, “Your sister is learning to ride a bike,” or “Ava won her school play.” He seemed to be attempting to fill a void that had never been filled.
I found comfort in photography. I saved money for my first DSLR while other people spent their time at malls. Taking pictures made me feel like I had a purpose.
I made a living after graduation by taking pictures of commercial undertakings, such as industrial sites, corporate gatherings, and items. Weddings were uncommon because there were too many factors and too much emotion. However, I succeeded when I took them on.
My phone rang one afternoon as I was editing a shoot.
It’s Dad, Madison. How is my preferred photographer doing?
I prepared myself. His upbeat demeanor frequently preceded a favor.
“Next month, Ava is getting married,” he added. “She’s trying to save money, and she was intrigued when I told her you’re a professional photographer.”
I paused. “Are you interested? We haven’t really spoken.
“I understand, but there might be an opportunity to connect. She’s kin.
He wanted me to take free pictures during her wedding.
I agreed against my better judgment. “All right. However, I’m bringing Jake along as my assistant, and I anticipate being treated more like family than like a hired hand.
“Obviously! Thank you, my love.
The wedding day finally came. With equipment in tow, Jake and I arrived early. Ava was lively and surrounded by bridesmaids.
“You’re present. Excellent. She handed me pages of comprehensive instructions and added, “Here is the shot list.”
No thanks, no greeting.
“Good morning, Ava. “Congratulations,” I said.
“Thank you. Before I put the dress on, make sure to take a close-up look at it. Mom wants pictures with her sisters, and there should be candid shots of the bridesmaids.
Lorraine came in grinning tightly. “Your father said you would be assisting, Madison.”
assisting. As if I were a camera amateur.
Jake and I worked nonstop for six hours. Every event was documented, including Ava in her dress, Dad’s tears (which I had never witnessed in my life), and the bridesmaids fixing her veil.
My feet hurt as the ceremony came to a close. Nobody had offered us a break or drink.
Ava declared, “Just a couple more group shots outside.” “The wedding party comes after the family.”
family photos without me in them. I posed, taking pictures of folks who hardly even acknowledged me.
I was given a bottle of water by Jake. “You’re infallible,” I muttered.
My stomach rumbled as the sun began to drop by the time we were done.
Jake proposed, “Let’s get some food at the reception.”
We walked inside the hall and looked at the tables for our names. Nothing.
I went over to Ava. “Where should Jake and I sit, please?”
She appeared perplexed. “Oh. No table is available for you. You’re not visitors; you’re working.
“I haven’t eaten or had any water for eight hours since I got up.”
Typically, photographers don’t sit at weddings. We didn’t set aside money for additional plates.
I muttered, “You didn’t pay for anything.”
She gave an eye roll. “Want me to send you a Venmo for a burger or something?”
That was the tipping point.
I looked across at Jake. “We’re heading out.”
Ava’s smile dimmed. “You are unable to depart. The cake cutting and the first dance are still to come.
When I was packing up, I said, “Find another photographer.”
Dad came over. “What’s happening?”
“Your daughter believes that since I am only the photographer, I should not be given a seat.”
“There must be a misunderstanding, Madison—”
“No miscommunication,” I cut in. “Ava made it apparent. Today, I’m not with family. I work as staff.
“That’s a lot of drama,” Ava interrupted.
I chuckled. “Is it not personal? I’ve never been recognized as your sister by you. You now want me to work for nothing and go hungry in the process?
I looked at my father. “I tried all these years. However, I draw the line here.
Jake and I went downtown to a steakhouse. Savoring every bite, we placed our order for the priciest dishes on the menu.
“To realizing your value,” Jake said.
I answered, “And to never work for family again.”
My phone buzzed the following morning with texts from Dad and Ava requesting the reception pictures. I choose to disregard them.
Rather, I sent Ava a USB disk containing unprocessed pictures to her mailbox. No explanation, no remark.
Later, in a rage, she called. “These pictures are hazy! The reception shots are missing.
Calmly, I responded, “You got what you paid for.” The next time, get a professional. Someone who is not related.
She accused me of constantly playing the victim and being self-centered.
I said, “Let me be clear.” “I was never really your sister.” You believed you could utilize me.
I blocked her number after hanging up.
Dad came to visit two weeks later. “The pictures were stunning,” he remarked. “I ought to have raised my voice when Ava informed me that there was no seat available for you.”
Indeed, you ought to have. However, isn’t that our pattern?
He questioned, “I’m not on that list, am I?”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t have to.
I felt lighter when I shut the door behind him. Certain familial bonds are not intended to last a lifetime. In order to provide space for the family we select, some are intended to be cut.
