For some people, attraction fluctuates and evolves over time, and it doesn’t always take a predictable course. Abrosexuality is the label given to this perplexing experience, which is more prevalent than most people think.
believed that she was a lesbian.
Let’s examine what abrosexuality means and how one writer’s three-decade odyssey helped make this word more widely known.
After 30 years of wondering why her attractions tended to change with the seasons, author Emma Flint revealed her heartwarming story of discovering she was abrosexual in a personal essay published by Metro UK in July 2024.
Flint, who was 32 when the piece was written, talks about how she thought she was a lesbian for years, then had times where she was attracted to guys, then no one, and then back to males.
She claimed to have been “unsure of who I was” for decades.
As though I were at sea, I felt lost. The freelancer, who is based in Staffordshire, England, says, “I also felt like a fraud because of how much I changed my identity when chatting with loved ones.”
“My identity changed, not that I was unable to make up my mind,” I would feel more in line with bisexuality a few days or weeks after feeling like a lesbian one day. I had a fluid sexuality.
Everything didn’t make sense to her until she happened onto the phrase “abrosexual” in an internet forum.
She writes, “I felt seen at last.”
Abrosexuality: What is it?
Abrosexuality, a less well-known LGBTQ+ identity, is a form of sexual fluidity, according to Healthline.
“A person who is abrosexual experiences frequent fluctuations in their sexual attraction: they may identify as “gay,” feel attracted to people of all genders, and then experience little to no sexual attraction at all.”
“Terms like homosexuality, bisexuality, heterosexuality, and pansexuality refer to the genders of the people you’re attracted to,” the health and wellness company explains, expanding on the identification. The term “abrosexuality” is distinct since it refers to the fact that your sexual attraction changes throughout time without defining a gender.
“I love the person, rather than their gender so it doesn’t matter if my sexuality fluctuates while I’m with them,” Flint says, sharing her own experience of her ever-changing attraction.
However, some individuals still like to insist that I “pick a lane” so that my identity doesn’t bother them, even after I’ve explained this. I want people to realize that an identity is not any less authentic just because you don’t comprehend or understand it.
How does abrosexuality manifest itself?
The fact that abrosexuality doesn’t fit into any one pattern is among the most crucial things to comprehend about it. Everybody sees it differently.
Healthline provides several illustrations of how abrosexuality could manifest in order to provide a more comprehensive picture:
Daily shifts: One day you may wake up feeling only attracted to women, and the next day you may feel exclusively attracted to males.
Gradual shifts: You may initially find yourself drawn to persons of both genders, but after a few weeks or months you may realize that you are only attracted to one particular gender.
Changing levels of attraction: You may have a phase of little to no sexual interest at all, which is frequently called asexual sensations. However, months later, you may find that your attraction has returned and that you feel more active, maybe toward various genders.
Long-term evolution: After years of identifying as a straight man, you may discover that you’re starting to be attracted to other males, which will add new dimensions to your identity.
These are but a few samples of what could be. Being an abrosexual is a very personal and distinct identity because there is no “one-size-fits-all” experience.
“Growth and development is about us all learning new things about ourselves all the time,” Flint writes. In the long run, I hope that abrosexuality will not be viewed as a means of being “on trend,” but rather as a normal identity that people may possess.
Flint’s narrative serves as a reminder of the importance of representation and language in assisting individuals in understanding who they are, in addition to being a personal journey. Simply because they haven’t found the perfect word to express their experience, many people may spend their lives feeling “broken” or “out of place.”
How do you feel about each of these identities? To start the conversation, please share this story and let us know what you think!
